Single on Valentines’ Day? 5 Things You Can Do Instead of Crying Alone!
Quinn Smith, Staff Writer/Editor
Are you spending another February 14th alone? Maybe your first in a while? Well, firstly, my condolences. I’d give you a chocolate if I could, or maybe a conversation heart, but nobody actually likes eating those. Since I can’t, here’s a few things you can do to feel a little less bad on a holiday designed to make you feel judged and jealous, because the fight against individualism starts with reaching out to a community.
1) Go out or catch up with friends!
(This actually goes for anyone in or out of a relationship).
Despite the horrors of capitalism and the rise of isolation, your romantic partner does NOT need to be the only person that you spend time with. Your friends care about you, your family does, and that love still means something. This is a lighthearted article poking fun at many things, but I am so sincere when I say that spending time with your friends can be incredibly fulfilling as an activity on Valentines’ Day! You don’t have to be alone; your friends don’t have to be alone, and you have an excuse to go out and/or do something fun for the day. Remember that Galentines’/Palentines’ day exists for a reason.
2) Take the day to romanticize yourself.
In a similar theme as point 1, nobody needs a relationship to be happy. And if you do, maybe see a therapist, because that sounds like unhealthy codependency. If your friends aren’t available, or you maybe want some time alone, it can be good to go home and relax to take your mind off of it all. You can grab a blanket, light a candle, put on music, and catch up on a show, book, video game, etc. Get real cozy with it; it can be fun to have that simple joy! Or you can spice it up: add skincare and your favorite snacks, maybe work on something that you’ve been meaning to get done. (And if all else fails, at least there’s a lot of chocolate on this holiday). Loving yourself is hard, but there’s no better day to try than on a holiday about love itself.
3) Boost your confidence.
This one can mean a lot. I’m not telling you to get dressed up and post a thirst trap or something, but if that’s what is going to help you feel desirable, then you do you. Alternately, maybe try taking a risk and doing something that feels daunting. Stepping outside of your comfort zone is not only a good distraction; it also helps with talking to people and feeling better about yourself in the long run. And hey, if you’re thinking about a certain someone on Valentines’ Day, then getting that confidence up to talk to them or even pop a question could have some great results. You’ll never know until you try ;)
4) Kill everyone else’s vibe out of spite.
Ok, don’t actually do this. BUT if you choose to be angry about this holiday (which I don’t really recommend because it often leads to a self-pity spiral), you can always look into the parasitic, manipulative history of February 14th and how love itself has been slowly capitalized on. What a fun topic to bring up to your non-single friends, right? If you’re committed to being cynical about this holiday, there’s plenty of material to work with—and you get to learn something new as a bonus!
5) Finally: Be sad about it.
I know, I know, it contradicts the point of this article. But I believe in healthy expression of emotions. It’s okay to feel sad, and it’s okay to feel lonely. If your plans include going home to lay on your floor and cry to sad music, then do it. Be as dramatic as you please! It’s a day where it makes sense to be upset, and getting those feelings out in some way, be it this or anything else on this list, is better than repressing them until they fester and become a worse problem later. However, if a pity party is your chosen method of coping, just remember that there’s a boundary between healthy expression and unhealthy habits. You should not be constantly desperate, angry, or devastated that you aren’t in a relationship (and again, if you do, maybe talk to someone about that). It’s okay to be upset and lonely, especially on Valentines’ Day, but a relationship will never define you. Happiness does not need to come from your partner. That’s why this point is the last on this list—there are so many other people you can connect with, so many other things you can love, and so many ways to love them.
In a world with a loneliness epidemic, one that is consistently pushing people to individualize themselves and never connect with others except for the purpose of churning out more future workers, I think romantic relationships are given far too much priority in our lives. Even as someone in a relationship right now, it astounds me how many people think that having a partner is the only way they can be loved. When I think about love, I think about how I love each of my friends, the sky, the Earth, music, my family, even something as simple as a nice cup of tea. And they (well, most of them, I think), make me feel loved back in some way. Valentines’ Day has, somehow, come to be a holiday all about that love, and if you truly want to celebrate it, I think it’s worth considering the full possibilities of the word. Just because you’re single, does not mean you are alone, or even that you aren’t in love. And if you’re reading this stupid article, I love you for that too! I hope you have a Valentines’ Day full of actual meaning and not consumerist lies, regardless of if you are single or not.
XOXO,
Quinn :)
About the Contributor
Quinn Smith, Staff Writer/Editor
Quinn Smith (12th grade) is a regular contributor to The Steeler Chronicle who loves giving/receiving constructive feedback and sometimes has really big opinions on things. When he’s not pushing his thoughts onto others in some way or another, he’s generally dragging himself (and his dearest cat) through homework, numerous crafting projects, and life itself.