The Stress of Romance: Why Valentine’s Day isn’t Sweet for Everyone
February 14th is Valentine's Day. For most, it is a day filled with love and joy; but for some, it only highlights loneliness, social expectations, and heartbreak. But why is that?
What is Valentine’s Day?
Valentine's Day is a holiday that is dedicated to lovers expressing their affection with handmade cards, gifts, chocolates, or flowers. While people often spend Valentine’s Day with their lovers, some tend to spend Valentine’s Day with family. Some people enjoy celebrating the holiday with dinners or watching parades.
Mental Health Impact
While Valentine’s Day can be a day of romance, for some it may be a day of heartbreak and regret. Valentine’s Day has large societal pressures many people feel they need to meet romantic ideals. In comparison, many single people may suffer from feelings of self-isolation, loneliness, and self-inadequacy from the ideal of romantic love—like on social media. Social media exposes people to “couple goals” and grand gestures: leading many to feel unstandardized to societal expectations. Of course, people’s views on the holiday can vary depending on the individual’s experiences—as the holiday may serve as a reminder of past relationships or memories. Some possibly have developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and many other mental health issues because of these past experiences.
How to Improve Mental Health on Valentine’s Day
Instead of being swayed by the ideal of romantic love on this day, you should prioritize self-care and self-love. While other people have high expectations, you shouldn’t set yourself, or others, to these same standards. You must keep in mind that Valentine’s Day doesn’t determine your self-worth or the value of your relationships. Rather, enjoy the connections you have and place value on the time you spend with these people: this being able to set a healthier mindset for the holiday.
Here are some things you can do to practice self-care during Valentine's Day:
- Indulge in relaxing things such as a bath, reading, or eating anything sweet
- Do activities such as doing yoga, getting a message, going on a run, or even meditating
- Spend time with friends and family, set up a hangout with them, or simply talk with them
- Limit your social media exposure, avoid the social media craze of grand gestures and constant and romantic expectations that likely don’t reflect real-life
- If you're in need of someone to talk to you could even speak to a trusted individual or set up a date with a licensed therapist
At the end of the day remember Valentine's Day is about all forms of love from romantic love to self-love so don’t feel like you need to be in a relationship to celebrate this holiday. It is important to acknowledge and validate your emotions, practicing self-care is important for your emotional well-being. So don’t forget that the most important relationship you can have been with yourself!