Have you ever thought about how love truly works behind the scenes? I’m talking about the biology behind love and the nitty gritty going on in your brain. Here’s a little insight into all that's going on in your brain.
Attraction
Usually, the start of love comes in the form of initial attraction to another. The hypothalamus* is responsible for this section of love. Here the hypothalamus regulates the creation of hormones like testosterone and estrogen causing attraction to the opposite sex. It does this through releasing gonadotropin: a hormone which activates the pituitary gland that produces follicle-stimulating hormones and luteinizing hormones*. These two then stimulate the production of testosterone and estrogen. It basically regulates the sexual arousal which you have for another person; this acts as the spark for the rest to come about.
*Hypothalamus = part of your brain that facilitates body temperature, mood, hunger, etc.
*Pituitary gland = the “master” gland that secretes bodily hormones
* Luteinizing hormones = hormones in charge of reproductive substance and change
Romantic Love
This phase is where you truly fall in love with another person. Three chemicals are responsible for this phase, all doing different things. The first of these 3 is dopamine. Dopamine is commonly known as the “feel good” drug is responsible for feelings of pleasure and motivation. When you look at your crush or significant other, your brain releases this chemical—creating positive feedback. This constant cycle of getting rewarded when looking at them leads to you to start being “addicted” to them – like doomscrolling 24/7 on Instagram or TikTok. This “addiction” is one of the key factors which makes you want to keep seeing and want to be with your significant other. Furthermore, serotonin has been found to be in lower amounts during early stages of love. This is important as one of serotonin’s functions is to regulate/lower the number of repetitive thoughts you have—a reason why serotonin gummies help us fall asleep. In lack of serotonin, you’ll be prone to repeat the same thoughts—even those of your significant other. The final chemical is norepinephrine. This chemical is associated with the “butterflies in stomach” effect. Norepinephrine is the reason why people get an increased heart rate and go into a state of alertness near their significant other. The combination of these three important chemicals is what leads to the general feeling of “love” for another.
Attachment
Now let’s talk about the long term! Here we see a neuropeptide* called oxytocin do its work in building up a relationship. Oxytocin’s job is to build up social bonds and maintain them in your brain. Oxytocin creates/increases feelings of trust/affection to another person; it also reduces stress when near someone who causes you to have high levels of oxytocin. These effects combined, cause you to feel a deeper relationship to your significant other. Oxytocin doesn’t leave easily and increases during long-term relationships. This high state of oxytocin is one of the factors that is attributed to keeping a long-term relationship successful.
*Neuropeptide = sends signals from neurons to other cells
Though all this science stuff might take some of the magic of love away for the moment, the knowledge of this won’t take away from the experience of falling in love—which is what matters!
Additional Information (Videos)